sometimes the best and hardest thing to do is...trust

i've been making plans my whole life. plans for how to finish my homework, plans for what board game to play with my friends, plans for the summer, etc. looking back on my Marquette decision, i know God planned for me to come here. looking back on my majors decision, i know God planned for me to study criminology and psychology. He has been leading me in every way since before i even knew Him, whether i saw or see it.

what makes a year from now any different? He was faithful and will continue to be faithful. He was sovereign and will continue to be sovereign. He was true and will continue to be true. He pursued me and will continue to pursue me. He led me and will continue to lead me. He loved me and will continue to love me. He had perfect plans and will continue to have perfect plans. He was God and will continue to be God.

i've wrestled with God, tried to throw down some punches (haha), because i want to know where i'm going to be spending my time a year from now. i want to have the plans. i want to know. but God, being full of His perfect mercy and kindness, has shown me His great love and led me to repentance (Romans 2:4).

my desire to know my future is a clear depiction of my sin and lack of trust in God and where He will take me. i want to be able to tell people that "i will be doing _____ after I graduate." because for some reason, i think that gives me more security and purpose than my heavenly Father. this past weekend, God shined His glorious light into this place of my life. He started asking me the questions: "where do you find your identity, Jessica? am I not enough?" my heart broke and the tears began to fall. my purpose in this life is not to store up riches or labels, my purpose for this life is to store up treasures in heaven, "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" Matthew 6:19-21.

His purpose for me is to live for Him and in Him and with Him and not get caught up in what the world has to offer. i don't need a label or career because being with Him is enough! this requires trust. trust in His promises. trust that He will be faithful. and this trust is the foundation of my faith: "now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1.

in faith, i turn from my selfish desires to know where i will be a year from now towards my Savior. i cannot see my future, but i am confident that Jesus will walk with me, that God will hold me and that the Holy Spirit will guide me to the place He has already gone ahead and prepared for me. He made me with unique talents and desires to use in a very specific way. right now, i don't know where that is or what that looks like, but following Him with my whole heart, i can more clearly see that my identity and worth is in being a daughter of the One, True King! in prayer i meet my Dad and see this world through His eyes! my hope and prayer is that you will come to know and experience the wonderful faithfulness of our Lord and Savior by trusting Him with all of your life. His promises bring more joy to this life than anything this world can offer!!!

"Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for that is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 2 Thessalonians 5:16-18