Indeed, I choose to follow You!

As I embark on my journey to the west coast, so many different emotions are brewing. I'm excited, nervous, happy, encouraged, sad to leave for another summer. But I am reminded that my emotions do not change our God. No matter how I'm feeling, He is still good, gracious, loving, kind, compassionate, just, merciful, graceful, mighty; I could go on and on.

Much has changed in the last year, the last few months, and even since last week. Having just graduated and moved, many unknowns cloud my mind. I keep searching for the answers to what the future holds - to where I'll be living come August, where I'll be working, if I'll be working; I could go on and on.

I've come to notice that I've fixed my eyes on the latter of these lists. My mind reels day and night and my countless to-do lists never seem to get me anywhere. I am lost, seeking to figure things out so that I can have a plan for my life.

See, when I focus on my plans, suddenly I am grasping at straws - looking to the right or left and focusing on my lack.

But God has promised me great things. It is by faith that I believe Him when He says, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" Jeremiah 29:11.

I know that I am sinful and that my constant need to make plans for myself is my attempt at taking control away from God. It saddens Him and pains Him to see me attempt to be self-sufficient. But He delights in my return to Him. He welcomes me with wide open arms and embraces me with His loving mercy and grace. He sees me as His beloved daughter, clean and blameless because of what Jesus did on the Cross - bearing my sin and overcoming it on the third day.

I am forgiven, I am redeemed, I am set free from sin and death and I am alive in Jesus Christ! To know that in my head is one thing, but to believe it in my heart is a totally transformational experience, life changing, if you will! When I chose to follow Jesus with my life, I chose to believe that what God's word says is true, despite my circumstances and my feelings. Therefore, I will choose to fix my eyes on the Lord and His promises and His freedom.

Choosing to focus on what God has for us is empowering, but also challenging! We are training our minds in how to think and focus on the good instead of the bad, on what blessings we have been given and not on what blessings we don't have yet. But think about the freedom that lies in focusing on the Lord and His perfect plan! He will lead you and guide you, when you follow Him. His plan may not look pretty all of the time and it for sure will not be full of rainbows and butterflies always, but the love that He gives, that penetrates deep into your soul, will change your life forever.

Here are a few questions to ponder and perhaps comment about below:

In what ways am I fixing my eyes on my problems?

How can Jesus be the solution to my problems?

Honestly,

the last chapter of my journey at Marquette has begun and I cannot believe it because it feels like yesterday things had just begun here. The last few months I have spent time reflecting on my time here and the legacy I'd like to leave. Quickly, I started comparing my experiences to others and rating my success on some handcrafted scale. Slowly, by the grace of the Lord, it became clear to me that I want my legacy to lead people to Christ, not myself. I don't want people worshipping me in five, ten, fifteen years, I want people to know and experience the love, grace, mercy, and kindness of our Heavenly Father.

I have felt bound by conformity my entirely life. I grew up not really speaking. I rarely could come up with ideas and thoughts on my own and felt as if, even if I did have an idea, it would be refuted because it wasn't worth anything to anybody. I never really developed my own likes, I liked what other people did so that I would be accepted, I wore what other people wore to gain acceptance, I talked like other people to win the approval of them. I didn't want to make my own decisions because of the fear of rejection. I valued so much the validation of others in anything that I was doing and when it didn't come, I either conformed or I was devastated for weeks, months, years!

It has taken me this long to realize that my identity is in Christ and He made me unique and special for His purposes. Sometimes though, even as a Christian, I feel myself conforming to what has become of the Christian culture, looking the part, but not really living it or at least not understanding who I am as a Christian, a unique individual made in the image of Christ. He says that I am forgiven, holy, blameless, righteous, secure, accepted, loved, significant, adopted, free, protected, and used by Him. If you are a child of God, you are all of these things! When I seek God and learn more about who He says that I am, I notice the unique gifts I have to serve God. When He makes me whole, I can see how He can use me more clearly.

Because God did not create us all to be the same. He says in 1 Corinthians 12:12-31 that if the whole body was an eye, where would the sense of hearing be. This meaning that the body is made up of many parts; that each has their own function, hands touch, ears hear, mouth tastes, etc. These parts together allow the body to grow and develop. An eye cannot be an ear and and an ear does not become a hand. We each have a specific function, that is unlike any other person. That is how God created each of us. But honestly, I didn't know that in my heart until last summer!  

We are sinful by nature, so by no means am I saying that we should not seek to become more like Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit, but additionally, that we should seek to know God so that we can begin to understand who He has created us to be so that we will be able to serve and grow His kingdom for His glory.

Who did God create you to be? A unique worshipper of Himself. He delights in YOU because of who YOU are, not what you've done or accomplished, but inside, who He made you to be! He loves His children so much! And He wants to use those unique gifts, but first will you allow Him into the depths of your heart to reveal those special talents He has given you? Will you allow the Holy Spirit to transform you into the likeness of Christ? In the name of Jesus, I pray that God would give you a desire and by the guidance of His Spirit, reveal to you your identity in Him for the glory of His Kingdom! Amen!